Thursday, December 17, 2009

Post #104. I miss my friend. );

Still counting the days of loving you,
Still thinking about what we shared,
Still remembering our everday,
Still can't forget your pretty face,
Still can't wait for when you'll relent,
Still here, at the same place, with the same feeling,

With the same feeling of loving you.
I need youuuuuuuuuuuuu.

Don't ask me why,
If I can, I'll try,
But then I've already died,
So many of us continue to lie,
Maybe you'd known it's goodbye.

So long, and goodnight.

Another day, another composition. Reviewed by a handful of people, and there were mixed comments. JJ gave me a 20, Bryan and You Wei said I would get an A, and stuff. So, without further ado, here it is:

35. Instinct

The full moon hangs high in the pitch black sky. Even though the full moon illuminates the night, there are no visible stars in the cloudless sky tonight. For a moment, I contemplated if the moon was lonely on such nights too, just like me now. The unusual silence and serenity of the night always give me such a raw, peaceful yet slightly unnerving feeling. I am sitting on the ground now, in my dress I just wore to a party. My expensive hairdo is ruined and my make-up have been washed down by my consistent sweating. I looked hideous, but I do not really care, not tonight. Loneliness soon grips me, and I try to stand up but my legs felt like they were paralysed. I am just sitting down, awaiting time to pass, awaiting this nightmare, this ordeal to end.

It all started after Sherry Wong's party ended. After the classic farewell pleasantries and well-wishing, I checked my watch and my heart skipped a beat. It was twelve midnight, and I had to reach home at eleven! My mother's threat to skin me alive if I exceeded my curfew kept ringing in my head, as I quickly hastened my pace. I walked past a secluded dark alley, and I considered taking this short cut to save time. A burning feeling inside of me, my instinct, warned me against it, but I continued to walk into the alley in a desperate attempt to reach home faster. Turning at a corner, I was greeted by an unpleasant sight.

I thought this place would be empty. However, on the dirty ground, a filthy, plump man laid, sound asleep. Obese and greasy, the man was wearing an obviously undersized singlet and pants. The man's face was no better looking. It was repulsive. His face was oily, and dirty. His immense face was inadequately filled up with his pair of small, beady eyes, a chunky nose with an ugly mole on it, and his enormous salivating mouth. He had balding yet scruffy hair, and was unshaven. I tried to stay as far as I could, from him. From his looks, my instinct inferred that he was a dangerous man, whom a lonesome lady like me should not rouse attention of, especially in a rural area like such.

In a bid to hasten myself, I took short, quick steps while trying to avoid making too much noise that would awake the man. As I passed him, a stench most foul entered my nostrils, and I pinched my nose in disgust. The man must have not bathed in days! The man grunted, as if taking offense at my passing remark, and withing seconds, he regained consciousness from his state of comatose. I tried to avoid his gaze and trodded on forward, as fatigue was soon overtaking me. The man blew a whistle at me and shot me an utmost disgusting leer. How I wished I could spit on him and kick that disgusting face of his!

"Hello, young lady!" he taunted, as he started following me, gawking at me annoyingly.

Using a mixture of dialect and Chinese, he made rude remakrs about me. Then, in a speed that seemed almost impossible due to his size, he ran in front of me, and with a lewd smirk, he pushed me onto the ground. I was taken aback. In shock, my body froze in horror and I was appalled at his boldness in this modern age. Most of all, his overwhelming stench was making me sick! I tried to regain control of my body and shake the obese lecher off, but his crushing weight immobilised my body, only leaving my arms free. He then proceeded to grab my left arm, and caressed it slowly, as if trying to absorb and feel the tenderness and softness in every part of my arm. The tiny hairs on my hand stood up, and I closed my eyes, as I felt like puking. That pig seemed to enjoy every moment of my misery and pain! I could sense the madness in his eyes. I mustered all the energy left inside me and flailed wildly, to try to shake him off.

I told myself I needed to get out, and that was when my instinct took over me. I was like an animal fighting for survival, like a gazelle struggling from the tiger's fangs, like a fish splashing around to get out of an alligator's jaws. My right hand, which was freed, moved around the floor, and grabbed a cold, metallic object. My first instinct was to hit the man with it. It was my last chance at survival, with my sanity intact. With superhuman strength, I swung the pipe straight onto his skull. I closed my eyes in fear of my chance to flee being endangered again. I tried to stop, but my instinct overpowered me, and with a almost bestial instinct and wrath that empowered me, I swung the pipe a few more times, driving it straight into his bloodied skull. I had to make sure that ugly pig was dead. It was either his life or mine.

Assured that it was all over and that man was unconscious, I finally stopped, and pushed him aside, panting heavily. My new dress was stained scarlet red, and I was sweating profusely. Now I am here, sobbing uncontrollably. I know that I just killed somebody. I was at a loss of what to do. I was in disbelief, in denial of this atrocious ordeal. This event turned my life totally upside down.

"I can't let anyone know! I'll go to jail if they do! All these years of education will go to waste, all my hard work, all my efforts, and my parents, they need me..." I muttered to myself, tears still flowing down my eyes unwillingly.

I shot the corpse a last despising look, and shuddered at the thought of imprisonment. That horrible man, that horrible, horrible man, I thought to myself. My instinct got the better of me once more, and I know... I know I have to get rid of this abominable man's corpse, I have to get rid of the evidence...

Hi, I've just written another essay. Don't ask me why my essays have such morbid and weird endings. Well, maybe because I like plot twists, and happy endings are too cliché to me. Or maybe I just feed on the dark side of human beings. Meh, anyways, here is my new essay:

1. Write about an occasion when friends turned into enemies.


I have always admired true friendship that withstood the longest of time, the furthest of distances, and the most difficult of tests. I also believe friendship is key to success. However, nowadays, people just take friendship for granted, more like a source of convenience than a bond between a lifetime of soul mates. Superficial friendship is extremely common nowadays, especially between teenagers, like the quarrelling Jamie and Lynn over here. These two had only swore eternal friendship between each other only a week ago, and now they're engaged in a heated argument like blood enemies. The most ironic part is that their friendship has been ruined by a worthless and trivial matter.

Jamie and Lynn are both fifteen year old schoolgirls. Jamie has dark wavy hair that reaches her shoulders. Her skin tone was as fair as snow, and her facial features were pretty and elfin. Being quite tall for her age, her built and beautiful figure resembles one of a model's. As the most popular girl in school, her pretty smile melted many unsuspecting boys' hearts, and she is the most sought after girl in school. Lynn, on the other hand, is a little bit shorter than Jamie. She has shoulder length jet black hair, and her body is extremely atheletic, the result of being in the school's various sports teams. Though she does not look as mesmerising as Jamie, her big, round hazel coloured eyes, petite nose and the wide smile she always wear on her face had her a fairly large amount of suitors. These two ravishing beauties are often the center of attention for most male teenagers in the school. But I pity these fools. Beauty is but skin deep, if only they knew the dark side of these two girls, they would probably be disgusted and appalled.

It was just awhile ago that Jamie and Lynn started quarreling. As their little squabble got more intense, Jamie's face quickly contorted with rage and hate. Her once enchanting features were no more. Her furrow of her brows and frown showed that she was smothering with rage. Lynn was no different from Jamie. She was furious. Her face turned scarlet red as she took offense at an insult Jamie hurled mercilessly at her 'friend'. The squabble soon grew into a major quarrel. Heart-breaking, confidence-crushing insults were thrown at each other. Both of them were not spared from the excessive use of vulgarities too. It was obvious their friendship was over, and that they would never become friends again. The thought of that lifted my spirits a little.

I despised them, for using friendship as just another way to make each other more popular. I rejoiced and grew elated as the fight intensified. With each insult, my joy grew, I was elated to see two friends turn into enemies. Soon, the fight escalated and the tension in the room was bursting. How I wished I had a video camera to record down the fall of their friendship. Their voices grew louder, and their voices were filled with each other's burning wrath. Both of them quivering and livid with rage, their fight would soon become a brawl, I silently thought myself, as another euphoria took hold of me.

"Shut up, you ugly pig!" Jamie spat, "You two are never meant to be!"

"What did you say, you mutant freak?" Lynn shot back, daring Jamie with a raised fist. "My patience is not to be tested, you dinosaur face!"

"You're asking for it!" Jamie snapped, but before she could finish, Lynn shot her fist at her.

I laughed mercilessly at their childishness. Fists flew and punches were dished, the sorry state of the two girls were laughable. Now, Jamie's face was a bloodied mess, and Lynn's hair was extremely messed up, and her T-shirt was badly torn. With a cry of anger, Jamie throws herself at Lynn, grabs her hair, and with almost superhuman strength, she tries to pull every single strand of hair out. Lynn, in response, tries to shake Jamie off, and with her powerful legs, she gives Jamie an extremely forceful kick that sends Jamie to the ground, panting and sweating profusely. What an exciting fight, I thought to myself.

It was not the first time women fought for me. Being an exquisite piece of jewellery, I could heighten one's beauty when put on. With many large and glamorous pearls tastefully stringed into a necklace, I was an aesthetically pleasing piece of must-have jewellery for beauty queens. I was also the reincarnate of Jealousy. Countless friendships were wreaked because of women's desire for me. I was a gem in their eyes that they have to lay their hands on. I was also the seed of jealousy that would grow between two friends. Lynn was showing me off to Jamie when Jamie started commenting that I looked ugly on Lynn. Jamie was obviously jealous of Lynn, and their friendship would soon be over just because of a piece of ornament. How pathetic.

Just then, Jamie stands up, and pins Lynn to the wall. Excitement surged through me as I believed their catfight would continue. Then, with the strength of a bull and the dexterity of a monkey, Jamie used her right hand to strangle Lynn, and with her left hand, she grabbed hold of me.

In a voice trembling with rage and fatigue, she yelled blaringly, "If I can't have it, neither can you!", as she started to apply more force.

I braced myself for the worse.

Hello, I've been studying recently. (Oh my gosh, you have!? :O)

Anyways, here is the composition I just did:

ENGLISH LANGUAGE (1120/1) PAPER 1 NOVEMBER 2000

5 Either (a) Running away.

"Chrystal, stop doing this to yourself! Stop running away from the problem, I feel your pain, and we could go through this ordeal, this nightmare together... Please, just stop..." Matilda shouts to me from a distance, the power in her voice slowly transforming into tired, muffled words.

"No, it's all over for me! I am not running away from it at all! I was never running away from anything! I am going to solve this, once and for all. All that I've lost, I'm going to reclaim it, it's not over yet!" I declare in response, as she punctuated her words with a blood curdling grin.

I turn my head, and look forward. The sky was a serene shade of blue, as magnolia white clouds dotted the sky. I contemplate my situation, and promptly decide that it would be the best for me. Whatever happened a year ago was still freshly etched in my mind, that fateful day. That nightmare that led to what I am today. They say I was running away from it, that I needed to move on. They are all dead wrong, and I shall prove it to them, right now. I stare at the necklace in my hands, and hold it tight against my chest. I close my eyes. Warm tears start to flow down my cheeks. Nostalgia soon brings me into a time, not long ago.

I was at Lance's deathbed, together with Matilda, my best friend. I was holding his eyes, ever so tightly. I was so afraid, so afraid that I would lose him. Never did I know that what I dreaded most would become reality. Lance soon passed away, or that was what they believed. Lance was still here, I could still feel him. I could still feel his warmth, I could still feel his presence, he is still alive. I started skipping meals, and lost weight at an extremely lethal rate. I was but a bag of bones within a few months. Everyday, I just cooped myself in Lance's room.

"Chrystal, what are you doing? Chrystal, you need to live life as normal, stop mutilating yourself... I'm begging you," Matilda pleaded, and I could see the teardrops in her eyes almost dropping. Her face was filled with stress, horror and unrest.

"Please do not worry yourself for me, Matilda, I'm merely talking to Lance here, see?" I reassured Matilda with a smile, as I continue giggling, and laughing to thin air.

"No Chrystal, stop running from the problem. Lance is already dead, and you know it! Please, just come back to your senses, I'm begging you!" Matilda bawled, her words were lacking the optimism she was once full of.

"Fine Lance, just this once," I muttered to myself, and replied Matilda, "There is really nothing wrong with me, really!"

Little did Matilda know, Lance asked me to just give in to Matilda, as she seemed really worried for me. I agreed to his request, and promised Matilda I would visit a doctor with her the next day. During the doctor visit, I was diagnosed with depression. Matilda tried to keep it from me, but I found out later. The doctor prescribed some pills for me that would curb my overpowering emotions, and another to stop me from hallucinating. Apparently, the doctor said that I was starting to hallucinate about Lance because I was too bereaved to accept the painful loss.

A few months later, my plan was finally finished. Matilda would stop her endless worrying about my health now. My plan is going to work. I take a last look at Matilda, and flash her a confident smile.

"Matilda, you would never believe this, but I am finally going to be with Lance. We'll be together eternally! This is the quickest way to be reunited! You should be happy for me instead, why are you crying?" I exclaim, elation ringing in my words.

"No! Chrystal, stop! Please! Stop running away from the truth" Matilda screams, her voice void of all happiness, she was disconsolate.

It will be over soon. I am now standing on the roof top of a flat. I briefly contemplated my decision, and tried to stiffle a girly giggle, as I think about me being embraced in the arms of my lover. The euphoric feeling, the happiness I was void of for a year, is finally coming back to me. Lance, he is my everything, my all.

"Thank you, Matilda, for all that you've done for me." I muttered to her, as I leaned backwards slowly, tears rolling down my rosy cheeks unwillingly. "I knew that my time here would be limited. I knew that I was suffering from hallucinations. Lance's gone, and I just can't accept the fact. I am sorry for making you worried. From now on, I shall never run away from that painful fact anymore. Thank you Matilda, and goodbye..."


Sorry for the cheesiness in names, and whatever. Luzl. I just wanted to post and by posting this, I efficiently killed two birds with one stone. Luzl.

It seems like two days ago that I just joined 304, and I totally hated it. I couldn't get into a Triple Science class, and I totally abhored the school. I hated Mr. Chan too.

It seems like yesterday that i started to grow attached to this wonderful class with classmates I call friends, and know I can depend on. I liked the class, I liked Channy more too.

It seems like only an hour ago that I realised I'm already in Sec 4, and though I loved the class, I didn't like Mr. Wee even though he tries really hard.

It seems like half an hour ago that I realised we're reaching the end of our Secondary School journey, and I really love Fourfour, and our 2 form teachers too.

It's now that I realised all the good teachers have done for us, and that I should've never take for granted all the times I spend with my friends in class.

It's now how much I've grown attached to Nan Hua, and even though I always say it sucks and we have no hope, I truly love it, and everyone in it. Why do the good things also go away so fast. I will miss everything, and I'll always remember this period of my life.
:) ): ♥